Eleven years ago, I walked into my first BNI meeting in Dubai, and one question consumed me: How will BNI help me?

I was a budding entrepreneur, driven by ambition and eager to grow. I needed leads, connections, and opportunities to scale my business. As I entered the room, the energy was electric—business owners exchanging ideas, referrals moving swiftly across the table, and success stories being shared.

Could this be the perfect ecosystem to build my business? It certainly seemed that way. But what I didn’t know then was that BNI would offer me something far more valuable than just business growth—it would transform my entire perspective on success.

The Awakening: It’s Not About Me

In those early days, I had tunnel vision. I’d track every referral, calculate potential revenue, and wonder what was in it for me. Every week, I showed up with my elevator pitch polished and my business goals front and center. But amid this focus on numbers and outcomes, the education slots during meetings began to stir something within me.

One lesson resonated deeply: “The best way to receive is to give first.”

At first, I resisted. Give first? How would that help my bottom line? Yet, week after week, I watched seasoned members like Rajesh and Priya embody this philosophy. Rajesh, a master connector, selflessly introduced members to his vast network. Priya, a mentor to newcomers, helped others thrive without seeking anything in return.

Their success wasn’t just in numbers; it was in relationships. Slowly, I began to see it. I was asking the wrong question. It wasn’t about how others could help me—it was about how I could help them.

The Transformation: Servant Leadership in Action

I decided to take a leap of faith. Instead of starting conversations with my pitch, I began asking, “How can I help you?”

In one meeting, I met Ankit, a marketing consultant struggling to find clients. While I couldn’t offer him direct business, I connected him with a friend who needed marketing services. That small gesture changed everything. Not only did Ankit land a client, but he also became one of my strongest advocates, referring me to his own network.

Little by little, I leaned into this mindset of giving. One-to-one meetings became opportunities to understand people’s challenges, and my focus shifted from transactions to relationships. Taking on leadership roles within BNI allowed me to serve in bigger ways—mentoring new members, hosting training sessions, and fostering collaboration.

Leadership wasn’t about authority; it was about lifting others up.

Thriving Through Connection

As I supported other BNI chapters, the ripple effects of giving became even more apparent. Struggling groups began to thrive, best practices were shared, and a culture of collaboration flourished. I wasn’t just part of a network; I was helping to build a community.

As I delved deeper into building connections, I realized that effective networking wasn’t about chance—it was about intention. That’s when I came across Susan McPherson’s The Gather, Ask, Do Method, a framework that perfectly captured the essence of purposeful relationship-building.

• Gather: I reflected on the relationships I wanted to build, shifting from short-term wins to long-term connections rooted in trust.
• Ask: Every interaction started with, “How can I help you?”—a simple question that unlocked countless opportunities to serve.
• Do: By consistently following through—whether mentoring a new member or showing up at someone’s event—I cultivated reliability and trust.

This approach didn’t just bring referrals. It brought partnerships, friendships, and a deep sense of fulfillment.

BNI: More Than a Network

Today, BNI is no longer just a professional network for me—it’s a way of life. It taught me that success isn’t measured by what you gain but by what you give. It taught me the power of servant leadership and the joy of seeing others thrive.

My journey with BNI shifted when I stopped asking, “How can they help me?” and started living by, “How can I help you?” That small but profound change opened doors I never imagined, turning me from a curious member into a leader, mentor, and contributor to a thriving community.

To anyone reading this, let me share a truth that has reshaped my life: the magic of connection begins with giving. When you choose to put others first, you don’t just build a network—you create a ripple of trust, gratitude, and impact that becomes your legacy. In giving, you unlock doors to friendships, opportunities, and a fulfillment far greater than anything you could ever chase.

“True success isn’t found in what you take but in what you give.” It’s a lesson etched into my heart—a gift I’ll cherish forever.